Cabinet Office Spends £4.2 Million Deciding How to Decide What to Plan Next

The Cabinet Office has announced what senior ministers are calling a "genuinely historic moment in British governance" — the launch of a Strategic Planning Framework that will, in due course, establish the conditions necessary to begin considering the development of a Five-Year Plan.

The plan, which does not yet contain any plans, is expected to take five years to produce. It is already six months late.

A Bold New Direction Towards the General Area of a Direction

The Cabinet Office Minister, speaking at a podium adorned with the words "PLANNING FOR TOMORROW, TODAY," described the framework as "the most comprehensive strategic exercise this government has undertaken since we committed to reviewing our approach to comprehensive strategic exercises."

"What we're doing here," he told reporters, pausing to consult a laminated card, "is building the architecture of a process that will allow us to construct the scaffolding around a methodology, which will in turn give us the tools to begin scoping the outline of a plan. It's quite exciting when you think about it."

A reporter asked whether this was simply a plan to make a plan.

"No," said the minister. "It's a framework. For developing a plan. About planning. Which is different."

He then thanked everyone for coming and left through the wrong door.

The Consultancy With No Web Presence

The £4.2 million contract to manage the Strategic Planning Framework has been awarded to Meridian Futures Consulting Group, a firm described in the tender documentation as "a leading strategic advisory practice with deep experience in government transformation."

A search for Meridian Futures Consulting Group online returns, in order: a defunct LinkedIn profile, a Companies House filing listing a registered address above a dry cleaner in Guildford, and a website that displays only the message "Coming Soon — Big Things Ahead."

The site has apparently displayed this message since 2017.

A Cabinet Office spokesperson confirmed that the tender process had been "fully compliant with procurement guidelines" and that Meridian had been selected on the basis of their "compelling vision document," which, when obtained under a Freedom of Information request, turned out to be eleven pages long, eight of which were a stock image of a lighthouse.

Meridian's founding director, reached by telephone, said he was "really pleased to be on board" and that the team was "super excited to lean into the strategic space on this one." He then said he had another call and rang off.

The Framework Explained, Insofar As It Can Be

According to the forty-three page announcement document — itself produced by a separate consultancy at a cost not yet disclosed — the Strategic Planning Framework will proceed in four phases.

Phase One involves the establishment of a cross-departmental working group to agree on the terms of reference for the working group.

Phase Two involves the working group producing a scoping document that identifies the key questions the Five-Year Plan will eventually need to answer.

Phase Three involves a public consultation on the scoping document, the results of which will be "taken into account" during Phase Four.

Phase Four is described only as "TBC — subject to Phase Three outcomes and ministerial availability."

The document notes, in a footnote on page thirty-nine, that the Five-Year Plan itself is not expected to be produced until a subsequent programme of work, the funding for which has not yet been allocated.

"It's a living document," a senior civil servant explained, in the tone of a man who has long since made peace with everything.

Experts Respond With Characteristic Precision

The Institute for Governmental Effectiveness, a think tank based in Westminster, released a statement welcoming the announcement as "a meaningful signal of intent" while noting that it was "too early to assess whether the framework represents substantive progress or an elaborate mechanism for deferring accountability indefinitely."

When pressed, a spokesperson for the Institute acknowledged that they had not yet read the forty-three page document but had "skimmed the executive summary" and found it "broadly encouraging in places."

Professor Helena Marsh of the Centre for Public Policy Studies was more direct. "What they've done," she said, "is commission a plan to commission a plan, paid for with public money, managed by a company that doesn't appear to have a functioning internet presence, and announced it as bold leadership. In fairness, by the standards of recent years, it more or less is."

Already Behind Schedule

The Strategic Planning Framework was originally due to be announced in March. It was announced in September. The Cabinet Office attributed the delay to "the complexity of the cross-departmental coordination required" and confirmed that the delay would itself be factored into the planning process going forward.

Asked whether the Five-Year Plan might therefore take six years, the minister said he wouldn't want to put a number on it.

Asked whether it might take ten years, he said he wouldn't want to put a number on it.

Asked whether it might never actually happen, he said he was very proud of what the team had achieved so far and looked forward to updating the House in due course.

Meridian Futures Consulting Group's website still says "Coming Soon — Big Things Ahead."

So, in a sense, does the government's.